One is then in the year 2000 God decides to return his/her/its son on earth in order to save our people. before undertaking his/her/its journey Jesus takes the sun and a beer in a bar of the floride. He/it orders his/her/its bloody usual mary, then an autre, 
then another... one moment gives begins has become there then tipsy it decides to be going to say has a man who played the billiards that it is called Jesus. The man answers to him: if you are Jesus you are going to heal me of my knee pain. Jesus immediately touched the knee of the thick strong man and he was healed immediately. The man
didn't believe his/her/its eyes of it and thanked jésus. all others customer rushed on jésus to heal different pains. All except a that sirrotait his/her/its beer in a badly illuminated corner of the bar. Jesus noticed a man, very obese, with an arm in le 
plaster. when jésus approached to heal the thick obese, the one it returned and shouted to him: key moé ...je doesn't come from the bad Quebec I am on the CSST...!!! !lol

The day happens and to the exit of the school the Julian kid is next to his/her/its schoolmistress and they wait for the bus. Of the others side of the road, three girls wait for the same bus but heading in the inverse sense, are eating an ice. A girl sucks his/her/its ice, the second licks his/her/its ice and the third crunches his/her/its ice. Does the Julian kid give a stroke of elbow to his/her/its schoolmistress and ask him: " TO your opinion did which of these three girls get married " already?. The schoolmistress is shocked a little, génée because being very chaste but as young and new teacher it decides to answer: " And very Julian, I think that it is the one that sucks his/her/its ice ". Then the Julian kid answers: " Not at all lady, it is the one that has an alliance,... but your reasoning pleases me well.

A brunette, a blond and a redhead are pursued by policemen they see a barn. in the barn he/it has 3 bags them he hides all behind. The policeman hits on the first bag (or hid the brunette) she shouts meow meow the police shout is himself a cat!!. then he/it hits on the second bag (or hid the rousse)elle shouts " wouf " wouf " the police shout is himself a dog. he/it hits on the third bag (or hid the blond) the blond shouts " potatoes ".

A newfie presents himself in a butcher shop and demand: I would like to have six coke. The butcher answers to him: But you are in a butcher shop, I don't have that go to the repairman in the face... At the end of 5 minutes, the newfie comes back: Me repairman in the face, the newfie leaves. At the end of 5 minutes, the newfie comes back: The aggravated butcher tells to him: Come to take my room and me leave to make the customer. The newfie threads the butcher's blouse and stand behind the counter: The butcher presents himself/itself and tells the newfie: I want 6 coke and the newfie answers to him: Do you have your empty bottles?

Once upon a time there was a small boy that was taken himself the low in his/her/its chain of bicycle. Then he/it asked has a lady to help has him the déprendre. He/it tried but they didn't succeed the lady then suggested him to go dear walmart. He/it made that that the lady tells to him then he asked has the seller to help him and she succeeds has auter the low of the chain. The small boy asked him how she had made and she answered him at wal mart one has some low prices every day. (low took)

Marie looks on duty for himself a dog. she/it ends up finding an animalier; Benoît. he/it proposes him 3 dogs: a bulldog, a shepherd Allemand and a poodle. - a bulldog, that spits makes everywhere that that is going all to mess up my floor. a shepherd Allemand, it is well too thick, he/it won't even pass by the door! worst, your poodle him... - he/it makes of the karate my poodle! I am going to make you a small demonstration: karate cage. The dog destroys the cage. get married takes it. she/it leaves with and makes an experience: karate post the dog destroys the post. while arriving at home, she/it tells his/her/its chum: - I found a dog on duty! he/it makes of the karate my dog! - karate my eye!

Three men wait in the delivery room. after 5 minutes the sick care comes to see them and tells the first man, your woman has just had twins. The new dad rises and dit:quel coincidence we live to room of waits and says to the second men bravo your woman has just had them tripled. The man rises and says: my woman and I live to three rivers. The third men rise and say me gives in us live to seven islands.

In Paris a Belgian presents herself/itself in a bar and get settled before the counter. The boss greets it and ask him: " Hello Mr., that you do take "? The Belgian answers spontaneously: " A tonic gin... Thank you "! He/it drinks ass - dry and immediately head toward the exit. The boss challenges him: " Hê, Mr., you don't have adjusted the addition "! The customer turns around and says: " But I don't have you anything demand, it is you that have me demand: " what do you take "?. Would not be necessary to take me for a fool under pretext that I am Belgian "! To avoid the scandal owing his/her/its other customers, the boss, furious, let the Belgian leave and finishes by forgetting this history. But the month after, the Belgian redoes his/her/its apparition in the bar and this time, the boss who remembers the sad misadventure remains mute. The Belgian remains immobile before the counter during several minutes, several hours. He/it ends up making sign to the boss who exults and says: Then "? The Belgian: " I would like peanuts "! The boss: " Okay but you are going to pay for this time? The Belgian taking 2 francs of his/her/its pocket answers: " Evidently since I order them to you... Once his/her/its plate of peanuts served, the Belgian begins has crush them one by one with a spoon to make some of the gunpowder. Astonish, the boss interrogates: Do " I can you to ask for this than you tops "? The Belgian explains: " Yes, I crush peanuts to go has the fishing, that serves me of decoy. In fact, this technique functions very well for the thick fishes "! " Ah good? What do you take with that "? And the Belgian answers spontaneously: " A gin tonic... Thank you "!

It is once a homosexual who dies and that arrives before St - Pierre. Then looking for St - Pierre in his/her/its books escapes on the floor a paper and bend to collect it. Then the homosexual takes himself/itself an impetus and... St - Pierre offended decides to punish the young man and the consignment directly in hell. 2 days later, St - Pierre begins has feel that the floor begins to become cold, then it decides to return a visited in hell to know what happens. Immediately to arrive in bottom, he/it notes that the hell is covered of ice. Far away, him Satan preview and he/it was going to wonder about the reason of this situation. Satan answered " to him since you dull messenger himself... of fif there, of it has pus of it a... who wants to bend to put wood in the stove ".

C ' is a boy's history that bought a new Lada. 5 minutes later, his/her/its car begins to make the noise, then it stops. A corvette stops: «have you need of help»
Yes
I go you attach behind my car and I am going to pull you.
- Ok
And the they see a Ferrari pass.
Hey! do have am it you?
- Ok
- If I go too quickly you flasheras your lights.
But a police made the radar and..
He/it goes a lot too quickly, I am going to let make
When the policeman arrived at home he said has his/her/its wife:
One is going to change our car for a Lada.
- Why?
- Ben I saw a Ferrari worst a corvette there was a Lada that flashais to pass them.

It is three people: Simon, Alexander and François. Then the three boys die and go up to the sky. St - Pierre who is to the door tells to them: " You voyer the pool to go, it is going to tell you if you had a good or a bad life ". Then Simon between and he/it has some until the size, then he/it is correct. Alexander enters has his/her/its tour and he has some until the shoulders. Simon puts itself of questions and says: Let's do " see Alexander, that what is your makes? Did you kill someone "? Alexander answers: " No! I am on François' " shoulders!

It is three newfieses, a that is called mad, the other nothing, the other ...faque person. They go for a walk in wood and all has stroke person tomb in the hole, faque the nothing said has mad: makes something quickly calls the fireman the police... mad faque leaves has run and find a telephone it calls at 9-1-1 and says has the operator: hello! I am mad I call for nothing because person fell in the hole!

It is a boy who meets a boy of the army, then the boy asks him: " You other boys of the army, do you have to eat some of the merde "? The boy of the army tells to him: " Ben that depends if the armed selects you, there are 2 choices, or he/it selects you to remain to camps or either it is to be going to fight, if it is to fight, there are 2 choices, or you you faces injured they recover you or either you make yourself injured and he/it doesn't recover you, if they don't recover you has 2 choices, or you die he/it recovers you and buries you or either you die and he/it doesn't recover you, if they don't recover you, there are 2 choices or you decompose yourself or or you turn into tree, if you turn into tree has 2 choices, or you don't make yourself coupe or either you make yourself coupe, if you make yourself gangway has 2 choices or he/it changes you in paper to write or or he/it transforms you in paper of toilet and if it is well in paper of toilet the eats of it to you of the merde "!

To the church, an aged lady, a few deaf, is sat next to a small boy tanning. The vicar asks: to " raise the hand those and those that already committed the adultery ". The aged lady who didn't hear demand well to the small boy to repeat him that that said the vicar. He/it answers to him: " he/it said to raise the those that liked poppermanses. " She/it immediately raises his/her/its hand and the vicar asks him: " lady, you are not ashamed to your age "!. She/it answers to him: to my age I suck a good packet of it " exactly, per week ".

It is 4 ladies that take their tea wholes and that discuss things and others. The some of the 4 ladies says: «me, my son is priest and when he enters in church everybody said " oh gentleman the other prêtre"»1 says «me my son is cleaned and does he arrive in church everybody said " oh gentleman the vicar "» does another say «me my son is bishop and when he goes in in church everybody said " oh my excellence "» him there in didn't have another lady who listened and who didn't again have anything says another then pack down says to him «you, your son him what is?» does she answer «me my son is a big man of 6 foot 1 and him is striptiseur and when it is going in to make his/her/its show everybody said " oh my god "».

It is a boy who sees one of his/her/its old friend to the corner of the street. He/it is going to see it and ask him that is that that he/it makes of good. The other answers to him stupidly: " him there about one month, I was make a safari in Africa ". L`autre, why it is silly without understanding, tells to him: " a safari, that did you want to always make then why ace you the as depressed " air?. The other always answers as stupidly to him: " The first week, one cut down three lions. third week, one c`est makes kidnapped then by a strip of gorilla, it us one raped and me I had the chief ". The other says: " Okay, sorry, I didn't know. Non says the other. This n`est not that, it is that is to him over there, me I am here.

We are in 2045. A young dead lately deceased arrives to the sky and there meeting St - Pierre. As he/it is promised the paradise, he/it doesn't hesitate to ask St - Pierre if he/it has the right to a fast visit of the hell. Just for information. St - Pierre accepts to confide it to Satan for some minutes. The young is driven then to doors of the hell. Accompanied by Satan, he/it enters and sees Elvis soon Presley attaché by the wrist to a hideous creature. The young man asks: " What did you make Elvis to deserve this fate "? And the poor " King " answers: " On earth I committed a set of sins and one punished me while linking together to this repugnant beast until the end of my stay in hell... The young man pursues his/her/its visit and distinguish Bill Clinton, bound like Elvis to a foul creature, soon. He/it immediately challenges him: " What did you make Bill to deserve this fate "? And the old President declares: " On earth I committed a set of sins and one punished me while linking together to this monster frightening until the end of my stay in hell... The young man continues his/her/its visit and meet this time Bill Gates. But the President - Founding of Microsoft is linked to a superb, very commensurate girl and is clothed slightly. The young asks him then: " What did you make to have the right to that "? But the young woman answers the first: " On earth I committed a set of sins...

It is the history of a small boy that goes in visit to his/her/its grandfather, before leaving his/her/its mother says to him: tells to him I want to hiss ". Come in the evening the small boy is going to lie down with his/her/its grandfather. The small boy tells his/her/its grandfather: " Grandfather I want to hiss ". His/her/its grandfather answers to him: " Keeps you everybody sleeps, it is not necessary to make noise ". 10 minutes later the small boy tells his/her/its grandfather whom he wanted to hiss his/her/its grandfather again says to him: " Hiss in my ear but doesn't hiss too strong ".

A boy enters in one grocery store and ask for a box of condom. The grocer answers to him: " Here one calls that a ticket of subway ". Then the customer tells to him: " I am going to take a ticket of subway ". Arrived to the subway close to the grocery store a good sister asks to him: " Where can I obtain a ticket of subway? " The clerk answers to him: " To the grocery store! " The good sister arrives in grocery store and ask for a ticket of subway. " My sister I am ashamed to give you that that you asked " me! Replies the grocer, the sister retorts to him: " Make quickly has a thick tail that waits in bottom "!

It is a man who only has one hour to eat and meet in a restaurant. As the restaurant is full, the server asks him to exercise patience. A half-hour passes and the man begins to so finally wonder, he will eat something. He/it perceives then to a table a man, dived in his/her/its newspaper, before a dish of spaghettis to the bolognaise, steaming... The man gets settled discreetly in front of the reader and devour doughs without interruption. It is at this moment that to the bottom of the dish he/it discovers a comb, ignoble, full of varmint. As dry, does he/it vomit in the plate this that he/it has just swallowed, repulse it then discreetly before the reader, who doesn't always have also You, the comb?

It is the history of an Italian runner of underskirt, of a Scotch obsessed by the money and a confirmed homosexual that die in an accident of bus. He/it meets before Saint Peter. As they are young, they plead their reason and implore Saint Peter to give them a second luck. Finally, Saint Peter gives up but warns them: " Okay, I am going to give you a second luck on earth, but it won't be necessary to yield more ever to your vices "! Immediately promised, there are our three people been reincarnated in a big European city. They begin to go for a walk in streets, without knowing too much if they really lived the stage or if it was merely about a collective nightmare. Voilà that all of a sudden the Italian sees a superb girl and of course he hastens to be going to speak to him. This one is not insensible to his/her/its charm, but as soon as the Italian proposes him to go up with him to the hotel of the corner, POUF ", has it that disappears! The two other strong men, convinced now the severity of Saint Peter looks at himself worried, and promise to lead a healthy life henceforth and without reproach. But, as you know it, hunt the natural and he/it comes back to the gallop! Voilà that our Scotch sees a very thick wallet all of a sudden on the ground. Of course, he/it lowers himself/itself... .et " POUF ", the homosexual disappears!

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